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1. Late Night with David Letterman, Jan. 8

This is Tracey's second appearance on the Letterman show.  Mindful of what happened last time (when she wore a very short miniskirt), she's wearing a slightly longer skirt and red tights.  She observes that men with gaps in their teeth, such as Dave, are oversexed.  Dave's response: "It's nice to have you back."  He asks about the photos on the back of her second LP, You Caught Me Out.  They are supposed to be like the silly photos you take at the photo booth at the train station.   The photo on the front shows Tracey overly made up, wearing a "ridiculous" wig.  Moving on ... Tracey says she's been well received in Norway, where they say "you funny when you cross your eyes."  Do this, and you're a national hero there, she says.  She mentions going to perform in Germany, Holland and Denmark.  There was this 3-hour live show in Denmark called "Sh! It's Saturday" (yes, that's the title) where the host panicked after suffering a big-time mental block.  He not only forgot Tracey's name but his own!  In Germany, she did a show where she went on before the lacemaker, which might lead one to question one's popularity.  The conversation then turns to her just-completed work on the film Plenty.  Who's in the film?  Sting, or "Schting"; Sir John Gielgud, who wasn't familiar with her or her work (but his younger friends might be); and, of course, Meryl Streep ("such a nice girl"), who never threw a tantrum on the set.  Tracey then describes her character as a "strange person", which draws some laughs from the audience and a suspiciously strange look from her in response.  Dave asks if she'd rather sing or act -- she doesn't really know.  Maybe she'd like a baby this year, but she's concerned that she wouldn't be a good mother [note: from a 1998 perspective, it appears she had nothing to worry about].

After the break, Tracey talks about doing the rounds in L.A., meeting with the casting assistants with wet handshakes.  The people at Lorimar couldn't believe she didn't have any capped teeth or silicone breasts.  She mentions she would like to do a soap opera someday.  This prompts Dave to talk about guys on soap operas who sing, such as "that Rick boy" (Rick Springfield).  Either stay on the soap or sing, says Dave. Tracey responds that it sounds like he's saying that to her, to which Dave replies "I am saying that to you."  Then they talk about advertisements, such as Paul Shaffer's ads for Rolling Stone.  She mentions appearing in an advert for a popular lo-cal soup in Britain where she wore an electronic cow's head.  The head was so heavy it made it hard for her to control her head movements.  At least it wasn't a too-tight mousehead another actress had to wear.  Then she talks about her recent vacation in Baja, complete with bossy American families who'd commandeered all the snorkeling equipment.  So she basically relaxed, though it did become boring after a bit -- no TV, no newspaper, no phone.  We get an update on her dog Binky, who's now the proud owner of a Elvis-style Vegas cape.  Then the conversation turns to accents.   She grew up speaking with a "posh" accent but had acquired an East End accent while living with a guy.  Mum would rather she spoke posh.  Dave is one of many to notice that she lapses into various accents so easily that any of them could be seen as her natural accent.

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2. Late Night with David Letterman, June 20

Dave introduces Tracey by saying, she's a non-citizen but she's entertaining, so we'll let her stay.  She comes out to the standard warm applause plus one prominent wolf whistle.  This time, it's not for displaying her fantastic legs but for showing a nicely tanned midriff, courtesy of (among other things) a bargain vacation in the Gambia.   There was a bit of a problem with a dead cow that had washed ashore and causing a terrible stench, not to mention the authorities who were slow to remove it.  The conversation turns to her new movie Plenty, which is due out in September.   She describes co-star Meryl "Smeryl" Streep as "so bloody good she makes me sick" (said in the spirit of friendship, of course).  What is Tracey's role?  She plays a lunatic sort of... (applause from the audience).  She says the film was beautifully shot.  She rhetorically asks the audience "What should I do: breed dogs or have a career?"  You can hear one woman in the audience yell "career!"

During the break, Tracey has pulled out several outfits for her dog Binky Beaumont, made by a friend from Britain named Polly.  We see a Elvis-style Vegas cape, a bellhop cap and suit, and a catsuit (as opposed to a cat suit).  The dog likes them.   And they are vented so he can do his business.  Next subject: fun in L.A.   Lately, it's consisted of going to horrific nightclubs, including the then-top club in town (no names mentioned).  We get a taste of the gossip in the ladies' room, and she mentions a rumor that Pia Zadora would show up, which had the crowd a-flutter.   This leads her to tell everyone to rent Pia's film The Lonely Lady.   One scene in there is a "triumph of animation" [note: I don't know what scene this is, and I have no intention of finding out].  She mentions having tea recently with Boy George, Marilyn and Cyndi Lauper.  George and Marilyn, she says, are well-brought up boys, the sort who would be polite to Mum.  And so's Dave.  He starts to mention the movie again, but she tells him to stop.  Then she proceeds to mention the movie.  The interview ends with comments about "dodgy kishkas" (Yiddish for guts) -- "new from Nabisco," says Dave as the segment ends.

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Joan Rivers is the guest host tonight, a year or so before she leaves for her short-lived talk show on Fox.  In introducing Tracey, she mentions her new movie Plenty coming out in about a month's time.  Tracey comes out and takes the hot seat; Doc Severinsen and John Davidson are on the couch.  She comments that she feels so young (she's 25 at the time) sitting in between a couple of veterans, referring to John and Joan.  John asks what that means, and Joan responds that Tracey is probably the age of his wife!  He's going through male menopause, Tracey comments.  Her husband Allan is 39 and a bit male menopausal, but she's got real problems because he's a golf fanatic.  She laments being a golf widow at 25.  She can't get him out of his lemon checks.  Now she considers herself a young, trendy person, but he can come in looking positively dreadful, including the dreaded VPL.  Now she'd like him to look like the "gorgeous" Bernhard Langer, but he tends more to Jack Nicklaus and Fuzzy Zoeller.  Golf was a boyhood thing with him, but he started again in Hawaii last year, abandoning her on the beach with some people from San Diego.  Joan suggests putting a tee in her navel, a suggestion she likes.  Joan asks Tracey if she has any children.  No, she replies [but I believe she is pregnant with Mabel at this time, although she might not know it yet -- RR], although they have a dog that they consider to be their child -- Binky Beaumont from Vermont [no, he's really from Harrod's in London -- RR]., who's got outfits galore.  He wouldn't let the flight attendants near her on the plane (yip! yap!) coming over.  What happens when he goes back to England, asks Joan.  Six months of quarantine, says Tracey, but they'd put him to sleep first.  No they wouldn't, she didn't mean that.

The conversation now turns to houses and how one buys the old so-and-so house out in Hollywood.  For instance, says Joan, they bought the old Victoria Principal home, which is Camp Pendleton.  The audience laughs, but Tracey doesn't get the American reference, so Joan explains that the camp is an Army base [Marines, actually -- RR]. Tracey says that she and her husband bought the old Steven Spielberg house ("that's impressed you, hasn't it?").  It was a blue bungalow that he had bought before making it big.  It's a nice house, but there were a few things that needed fixing up, like a broken shower door and some stopped-up toilets.  Tracey mentioned these things to Steven when she saw him next; when you can talk to someone about toilet problems in the first two minutes, she says, you're really getting close to someone.  He's a nice boy, a well-brought-up boy, she says, but the house was a bit dirty when they got it.  There was some underwear hanging around, both men's and women's -- and make up your own mind about that, she says.

Now the discussion turns to Tracey's adaptation to California life -- the network meetings, going to the DMV, etc.  Joan asks what the DMV is.  Department of Motor Vehicles, replies Tracey; she's not surprised that "Miss Limosine" wouldn't know about the DMV.  Joan says she'd be foolish to turn down NBC's car, for they wouldn't give her any credit for doing so.  Back to California life:  Tracey says she's applied for her Social Security number, gone to the DMV, and had her first network pitch today.  Joan says to Tracey that she'd be good in a series [she was right -- RR].  She then asks if she could do one thing, either sing or act [only one?!? Too limiting -- RR], which would it be?  Tracey take a moment to respond, then says she would act.  She'd like to be around when she's 60 like Joan, doing character parts.  After that little dig at her, she mentions another trick she played on Joan before, one that can't be shown on the air ("they'd have me deported"), but it involves a cigarette end and nail polish remover.  Joan says that a commercial break is coming soon, so this will be the last question.  She says Tracey reminds her of Julie Walters, who was just on, and she asked Julie and will now ask Tracey if she'd ever met royalty.  Yes, she says, she met Princess Diana, who is fabulous close-up.  She compares Di's skin to porcelain.  She recalls doing her own hair that night but forgetting to comb it in back, so something stuck up in the back, looking much like a duck's bum.  She's got a picture of it, and her mother is so ashamed.  What did they talk about?  Rock music, the kids, etc. -- she was very chatty, Tracey says.  Joan asks if Diana joked about liking Prince and also sleeping with him.  No, she didn't; she likes Neil Diamond, actually.  And with that, they go to a commercial and the segment ends.

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3. Late Night with David Letterman, Sept. 19

This was a spur-of-the-moment appearance, it seems.  Tracey was across the hall being interviewed about Plenty for the local Live At Five show, and one of Dave's producers asks her to come over.  She's wearing a looser outfit than usual; though she won't mention it tonight, she's two or three months pregnant with Mabel.   She thanks him for providing gifts of Cadbury's Caramello bars.  This leads to some riffing about Italian men (in Italian accents, of course, in which one can hear hints of the voice that, ten years on, will become cab driver Chic). Dave tries to bring up the movie, but Tracey wants to talk about the producer who enticed her to come over and do the show, using such phrases as "Baby you're hot!"  She calls him a "big slime bag" (more on slime bags later).  She points out that Dave's had the scoop for her plugging appearances -- for he is the hunkiest host, the one with the most hair (that, or he's been the youngest host).  He's trying to lay a guilt trip on her for choosing Live At Five over his show (he pays more, by the way).  She's had a lot going on, including last night's premiere of the movie, to which Dave did not have a ticket.  He could have gotten one if he'd asked, Tracey says.  The conversation pauses here while Dave sets up the commercial for Ken-L-Ration Smorgasburgers.  How do we know that the dogs like them best?

After the break, Tracey talks about her mother, who on a recent visit brought over several pounds of British meat and lots of cigarettes, which does her no good (she's a vegetarian and has given up smoking).  There's some more discussion about slime bags, and then they finally get around to talking about the film.  Dave mentions the good review in the New York Times.  Unfortunately, Tracey says that it was a bad review, but that the L.A. Times and Newsweek had given it good reviews.  All the dodgy reviews were done by slime bags, she says.  Then she summarizes the plot of the film, in which Meryl Streep's character is never able to experience life the way she did as a member of the Resistance during the war, and we see her heading for a breakdown over the course of 20 years.  She was lucky to be in such a serious film, she says.  The conversation then turns to comparing beauty pageant winners in the US and Britain, as Miss Mississippi (whom Dave had had on the night before).  Unlike the winners in Britain, Miss Mississippi did not giggle once throughout her interview.  Binky update:   the dog has kennel cough.

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4. Larry King Live, Sept. 19

This appearance is not in my collection, so my recollection of it is quite hazy.   Given its timing, I presume it was to promote her appearance in the upcoming movie Plenty.   It was heavily disrupted by the breaking news reports of a catastrophic earthquake in Mexico City.

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5. Dick Cavett Show, Oct. 14

This was the latest incarnation of Dick Cavett's show, which had first aired on ABC in 1968.  This version aired on the USA cable network.

He introduces Tracey by referring to her hit song and accompanying video, as well as mentioning the main reason for her appearance, the movie Plenty.   "She's a lot rolled into one," he says [and I agree].   After she comes out to the applause of the audience, he mentions that she said "a lot of weird things" in the dressing room to him.  One of those things was an observation on the length of his trousers; they're a bit short, she says.   This prompts Dick to stand up and do a bit of moonwalking.  She mentions being somewhat distracted by his loud voice exercises; it seems he'd been suffering from laryngitis and was helping his voice by talking over it, as "saving" one's voice actually has the opposite effect.  Back to the trousers:  Dick observes that either his socks or his legs don't match.  This prompts Tracey to mention her lack of socks, unwaxed legs (covered with pants tonight) and peeling, thanks to a vacation in Hawaii, home of the "wicki-wicki buses" among other things.  Some of those "other things" are provocative beefcake postcards, a few of which she bought to send to her girl friends.  Next, we see a clip from Plenty:  Tracey's character is heading for the office on her second day of work wearing her boyfriend's suit.  This clip ends with her making a statement about hemlines, prompting Dick to observe that she's obsessed with the length of clothing.  The conversation then turns to her family ("a bit bonkers") and her mum's recent visit bearing liver, bacon and cigarettes, which aren't very useful to a vegetarian who no longer smokes.  Then the conversation turns to, of all things, constipation (it's a UK obsession too).   Tracey mentions seeing the same actress appearing in ads for laxatives and douches (she must have a lousy agent); the only ad's she's been offered [to date] were for sanitary napkins and mopeds -- hm, perhaps she needs a better agent.

After the break, the conversation turns to pronunciation.  Dick is somewhat surprised that Tracey is unsure about the proper pronunciation of "Ullman".   There are the two alternatives, with a short "u" (the most common" and a long "u" (more eastern European).  She mentions that her mother named her Tracey (with an "e") because she thought it was the American spelling (nope).  Then Tracey mentions going on the "Dick Ca-VETT" show (it's "CAV-ett").  Dick responds that "she must really be new to this country."  Later, she describes going to a horrible stage school run by a couple who had struck it rich in the lottery, full of nasty little blonde girls who did Barbie ads.  This leads to a commentary (in character) about method actors who, in her opinion, go totally overboard (her method is more instinctual in nature).  Dick compliments her on her "flawless American accent," which she still wants to improve [which she has -- RR].  He asks her about working with Sir John Gielgud, who was one of her co-stars in Plenty.  She says he was mystified by her.

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Prepared by Roger Reini
©1998 R. W. Reini
Last modified: April 20, 2008