| Talk Show Appearances - 2003 | ||
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Today, August 4 Clicking on the thumbnail images will cause larger versions of the images to open in a separate window.
We see Tracey briefly near the start of the 7:30 segment, as Matt Lauer and Katie Couric tell the audience what's coming up that half-hour. We see her again adjusting her makeup going into the break before her segment. It's Katie who has the job of interviewing Tracey this time. Before she does, we see a clip from the Trailer Tales special. In it, Ruby is doing Debbie Reynolds' nails and is telling her about how Buddy acquired a pet pig. After the clip, Katie remarks that Tracey got a lot of people to appear in her special. That's true, Tracey says, naming such stars as Reynolds, Cheech Marin, Jane Kaczmarek and Rose Marie, who was "fantasitic" (this said in an impression of Rose's voice). Unfortunately, she didn't get to spend much time with Rose, so she can't answer Katie's question about what Rose has been up to all these years. But she does tell us that Rose's famous hairbow must be nailed to her head or something, for you can't take it out. Katie starts to mention some of Tracey's other TTO characters, such as Chic, which prompts her to become Chic for a moment and flirt with "sexy lady Katie" and rub her finger on Katie's leg, until she pulls back and says "Ooh, what am I doing?" Katie then mentions Chris Warner (staying on the lesbian theme), Hope, Sydney, and Trevor, and then asks why Ruby is starring in the special. She's "unremittingly horrible," replies Tracey, who phases into Ruby while describing her, but people love her because "she can say anything she damn well wants." There used to be someone like that in her office who was mean and horrible, but as soon as she left, everybody missed her. Ruby is straight up honest, Tracey says. She was inspired by "union makeup artistes," including one in particular from the early days of The Tracey Ullman Show (TTUS). Her description sounds uncannily like Ruby: big car, scarf, listening to Lawrence Welk, a license plate that reads "Starmaker", a resume that said she'd made up Eisenhower and Joe McCarthy (this draws laughs from off-camera). She's fascinated by these people, Tracey says. Asked to explain the significance of the makeup trailer for those who aren't in showbiz (who isn't in showbiz, these days, wonders Tracey), she describes it as a womb, a place where you can tell secrets, see a row or two. If the story calls for a move outside the trailer, so be it, so you will see Buddy's pig. And it was fun directing the pig, says Tracey. As Ruby, she comments that the pig was cute when it was this little, now its poops are this little (same size). Then she suggests that Katie could use "a little under here" [makeup, I presume, not poop -- RR]. It turns out that Tracey directed this special ("I vant total control", she says in an Eastern European voice). She had asked a good friend [Don Scardino, perhaps? -- RR] to direct, but he couldn't, and time was running out, so she decided to do it herself. She tried to follow the Woody Allen approach of being spontaneous, having the actors talk all at once, use big master shots as opposed to too many closeups (the closeups make it less funny). She wanted the actors to be spontaneous, to be relaxed and to improvise. Debbie Reynolds was quite good at it, she says; she even said the F-word quite spontaneously. But that's HBO for you, says Tracey; you have to say the F-word and be topless every three minutes (she mimes lifting her top). Katie then asks about the other two characters that Tracey plays in the special, the first being Pepper Kane, a black actress whom Ruby used to make up white. We then see a clip of Ruby and Pepper together ("shot at 4 AM in a parking lot in Hollywood," notes Tracey). The premise of the story is that Ruby has retired from the union and from the business, but she changes her mind and wants to return, but the new union head won't let her. He is the son of the old union head, who had an affair with Ruby. We'll see how important work is to Ruby, says Tracey. Then Katie asks about the third character. It's a Russian hooker who lives next door to Ruby, replies Tracey in character. She's very sexy, and she's a character whom her husband likes very much. Speaking of Allan, Katie asks Tracey about his new project, Jerry Springer The Opera (this draws a big laugh from off-camera). She was skeptical about it when she first learned of it, she says, for her husband is tone-deaf and lacking in musical ability. She grilled him on it and expressed concern about how much he had put into the show. After she saw 6 minutes of the opera, she changed her mind and criticized him for not underwriting the entire production; it was that good. And it'll be coming to Broadway in 2004! Jerry Springer wasn't involved in the production at all, but he did see it in Edinburgh and gave it his blessing. As the interview wraps up, Tracey plugs the Trailer Tales airdate and time (Saturday, August 9, 8 PM, HBO) and says that "if you still haven't got cable, you're living like losers", so go out and get it. Just before the fade-out, both Katie and Tracey cross their legs at the same time, and Tracey accidentally bumps Katie's shin.
Joy Behar opens the segment by introducing a clip from the Trailer Tales special in which Ruby tells George Schlatter about a "cancery" mole, after which Tracey comes on stage. She comments on the summer audience with their arms up, nothing that there wasn't a single hairy armpit in the studio; "that's America for you!" Joy calls her the most versatile actress she's ever seen, then asks if Ruby was inspired by the makeup artist that Woody Allen uses. Yes, indeed, Tracey replies, Ruby is a bit of an homage to Romaine Greene, but she's also based on several other makeup artists, notably the one who made her up on the first day of The Tracey Ullman Show. She had a big car, a cigarette going (by this time, Tracey has slipped into Ruby's character), Lawrence Welk playing on the radio, and "Starmaker" on the license plate. It just struck her how these women can keep on working -- the polyester pants, the glasses on a chain, etc. You know these women. Joy wonders if Tracey will ever base characters on her and her View co-stars ("maybe"). Star Jones says that she just loves her, to which she replies that it's fun being black, that it's liberating. She used less makeup to portray a black woman this time -- just darkened skin and some nostril appliances, plus the nails and other accoutrements. Joy asks Tracey if she's ever gotten into trouble with her admittedly politically incorrect characters. Never, she replies; if Eddie Murphy can play a white man in one of his films, why can't she play a black woman? Well, she did get some static when she played an Asian woman [Mrs. Noh Nang Ning -- RR], but that's all. She reviews her criteria for a character: do they exist, is the impersonation good enough, does it have the right energy, etc. "I can't help being a schizophrenic!" she exclaims. She wants to dress up. Her kids don't understand why she wants to have a hairy chest and a fake penis [she's referring to her Middle Eastern cab driver Chic -- RR], but they're getting used to it. Meredith Viera asks Tracey for her opinion of the Kobe Bryant affair [the NBA star was charged with rape; trial was several months away at the time this aired -- RR]. She declines to comment on it, as she's been out of the country for three months and is not that familiar with the case. This phases into a statement that she's been very lucky with her man, that they'll have been married 20 years this year, a statement that draws applause from the audience. This allows her to plug his project of the moment, Jerry Springer: The Opera, which is coming to New York next year. Springer's a very interesting man, she says. Meredith then asks Tracey if a lot of her humor came from her mother. It comes from wanting to cheer everyone up after her father's death, she says. It also comes from her talent for mimicry. Some kids can play the piano or kick a football; she could just impersonate everyone. And she found out early on that impersonating friends and neighbors could make her mum and sister and others laugh. And speaking of her sister, Tracey admits that she's actually a spinoff from her sister Patty's show. Patty took the straight road in life; she's an accountant/bookkeeper/assistant. Star recalls reading that Tracey used to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror when she was younger. Yes, that's true, she says. She would pretend to smoke a cigarette and act as though she was a woman in a documentary -- husband's been in jail for 5 years, living on welfare, rats in the living room, kids covered in snot, that sort of thing. It wouldn't be long before there would be a knock on the door and her mother would ask "What's going on in there?" "Nothing", she would always say. Joy changes the subject to Tracey's characters and a sexual content that she sees in them. It's mandatory on HBO that you show your breasts every 3 minutes [though she herself has yet to do so -- RR] and say the F-word. Joy then asks if the sex is coming from pressure from HBO rather than from her own creativity. Tracey takes her time answering this question. She starts by saying that she loves working for HBO -- it's liberating, they have no commercial breaks or sponsor pressure -- it's like the BBC with money. Is there a lot of sex in what she does, she asks Joy in a manner that suggests she doesn't think so. Joy replies that there's more sexual content than in her Fox series, to which Tracey agrees. But that's where it ends, as the segment comes to a close with a quick plug for the special.
After we see a clip from Trailer Tales, Jon Stewart introduces Tracey as the next governor of California, and she comes out to great applause from the audience. She starts doing an impression of Arianna Huffington, whom she says sounds like Zsa Zsa Gabor in Green Acres [it was actually Eva Gabor, but the sisters sounded alike -- RR]. Jon says that is the best Huffington impression he's heard, and it's also the only Huffington impression he's heard! Tracey says that she likes her; she's been to her house a couple of times for some political evenings. Jon asks if she's going to throw her hat in the ring [for the California gubernatorial recall -- RR]; "oh, puh-leeze!" is her reply. She couldn't run anyway, for she's never become a US citizen. This draws a gasp from someone in the audience, possibly someone concerned about the sketch comedy jobs that Tracey may be taking away from citizens. She's been out of the country for 3 months, she says. She spent some time in Australia and saw a pearl farm (she's wearing a product of that farm on her hand, a ring with a nice big pearl) and visited Top End, where Crocodile Dundee's from. Jon questions the fairness of pearl farming: "what kind of life is it for the oyster?" he wonders. She recalls visiting a nice bar in Darwin, a place called Humpty Doo, where you had jackaroos with beards to their knees and where the toilets were labeled "blokes" and "pokes". Are you sure this wasn't a theme park, asks Jon. No, it was real, says Tracey. It was a place where she was just a "poke." She spent the summer in Europe, mainly in England and Italy. She then comments on the differences in news coverage between Europe and America. The coverage over there is quite different from here, she says, demonstrating our bombastic "Road To Baghdad" coverage ("we're so frightened!") Her advice to us: calm down! Now in Italy, the news is all about breasts. In fact, all of television is about breasts there, even the ads. Jon comments, somewhat sarcastically, that we've never sexualized advertising in this country (sure...). Tracey then comments on a news conference featuring President Bush and Italian prime minister Berlusconi, noting that Berlusconi's got the crooner look going -- fake tan, the hair, etc. He rewrites the laws of the country to suit himself and his businesses, she says. And, of course, there's lots of tits. Now there's a tit rule on HBO: you either have to show your tits or swear every 3 minutes. She uses Sex and the City as an example; you've got Sarah Jessica Parker's character uptown having cocktails in a nice Manolo Blahnik outfit, and then you've got Kim Cattrall and lots of humping. She then proceeds to simulate the humping on the couch, and this cracks up Jon and the audience. She continues: there she (Kim) is, 46, collagen and botox, and... She then simulates some more humping on the couch, taking care to hold her dress down, for it had flown up, and we viewers got visual confirmation that she had not forgotten to wear panties. It turns out that Kim will be a guest on the show next week, Jon says. Tracey tells him to tell her what she did. She also says that her panties came from Italy -- Berlusconi brand, no doubt. As the interview wraps up, Jon mentions that Trailer Tales would air that Saturday at 8 PM on HBO and congratulates her on directing it, while she congratulates him on the Emmy nominations for himself and for his show [he would win those awards -- RR]. 4. Sharon Osbourne, September 22
As the show begins, Sharon says that her first guest (Tracey) is one of her heroes, whose career she's followed since its beginning, She started out in England 'cause "she's English like me," Sharon says, adding that she'd never thought she'd get to interview her. After we see a clip from Trailer Tales, she tells Tracey to come out on stage, which she does, emerging from a faux built-in refrigerator in the kitchen portion of the set. She's got two of her dogs with her (more on them later). "You're being so nice to me," Tracey says; "that ain't English!" But it is true today. Next, Sharon invites the dogs up on the couch. Tracey says that since Sharon frequently has her dogs around, she figured it would be all right to bring hers along. After a little bit of Mutual Admiration Society, Tracey points out that they are a couple of English girls doing well in America, which they certainly are. What's more, they still talk like a couple of English girls! It turns out they went to the same school back in England, albeit at different times: the Italia Conti stage school in Brixton. No wonder Sharon is like she is, comments Tracey; she's a Conti girl! They both frequented the same pub next door. Only in England would you find a pub so close to a school, points out Sharon. She used to go there for lunch, a beer and a chat, and so did Tracey, who remembers the school days as half of the time learning to sing and dance, and the other half being the other part of a so-called education. But she got an education of a different sort playing pool in the pub. And now the school's gone somewhat legitimate, calling themselves the Italia Conti Academy, but back then, it was a haven for kids who were up for Barbie commercials, stuck-up brats who'd go "I don't need to do schoolwork 'cause I'm going to be a star!" And they were the naughty ones in the pub, points out Sharon. And here they are, continues Tracey, and where are those brats today? It turns out that neither of them won that many parts while they were in the school, always seeming to lose out in favor of the little blonde girl or the skinny blonde girl next to them. Sharon recalls auditioning for a West End production of The Sound of Music three times and failing each time. Tracey says that she never liked that part of her school experience, and she'd go to the pub next door to get over the hurt from the rejection. But look where they are now! Tracey asks Sharon who her contemporaries at the school were -- Michael Howe? Sam Stephens? Sharon mentions another one, Olivia Hussey, whom according to her was a bitch at school. Olivia got the big role in the Romeo and Juliet movie, she says, but she was a bitch. Then she says "Sorry!" Changing gears, she asks Tracey about the documentary that she did, or appeared in [Searching for Debra Winger -- RR]. It's becoming quite a success, Tracey responds, for no one really talks about the plight of women getting older in Hollywood. However, both of them do. Tracey repeats her comment that she hasn't got looks to lose. It has to be painful for someone who's relied on their glamour in Hollywood to get older, she says. She tells of being interviewed for the documentary at the Marc Jacobs fashion show in New York on Sept. 10, 2001; Rosanna Arquette asked her for a few quick words, that's all. Tracey continues: she gets offended by the attitude to age in America. In Europe, there's more respect for age, and older actresses get more work. She always wanted to be a character actress, she says; she wants to be like Maggie Smith and work until she's 90. For the documentary, she was talking about seeing women in their mid-30's with collagen lips and botox'd faces, proceeding to demonstrate each. Sharon agreed with the put-down of collagen but not with the one of botox, so she cuts off the discussion and they head to a break. The second segment kicks off with Sharon mentioning Tracey's seven Emmy awards, and Tracey points out that Sharon won one (or a half of one) for The Osbournes. Sharon attempts to introduce another clip from Trailer Tales but gets tongue-tied, so Tracey introduces it, reading from the prompter in an announcer-type voice. The clip features Ruby meeting Pepper Kane, and afterwards, Sharon asks Tracey about the inspiration for Ruby. It was encountering the old-time makeup artists when she first started working in America, she says. She slips into the Ruby character as she describes them: big boat of a car, always smoking, cotton candy hair, etc. Then Sharon asks her about playing men, and she begins to speak about Chic. She's met cabbies like him in New York, she explains. And there was one in London who came right out and asked "Hey, you like sex?" When they're that forward, she says, it's like "Yeah, I want it with you right now!" She then talks about the fake penis she wears when playing Chic or other men. She really enjoys being other people; she just takes it to extremes. Then Sharon asks about Trevor, the gay air steward. "You've met him on British Airways," Tracey replies -- gay in the galley, straight in the cabin. The conversation then turns to Tracey's dogs. They're from Alabama, she says, and the brown one doesn't have a lot going on upstairs, according to their trainer [but she was still cute -- RR]. They were flown in from Alabama, and they didn't go potty the whole flight. Sharon asks Tracey about directing the special. Why not, she responds. She's written it and can picture it in her mind. She wants to make sure that the actors can be spontaneous and feel uninhibited. She's seen the directors who go overboard on coverage, making everyone feel inhibited. She finds movies like that inhibiting. But the exact opposite is the case with someone like Woody Allen, where you frequently don't know where the camera is. She wants to be that kind of director. It's a natural progression for her, she says, for she's a bossy old cow, just like Sharon. Now Sharon takes some umbrage at that, for she denies it, though she will admit to ruling the home roost. Tracey asks if the kitchen equipment works, if they could cook in there if they wanted to. They could, Sharon says; "I don't do it, but we could." Then the conversation turns to Purple Skirt, Tracey's online fashion business, which has been going strong for 4 years; they're not dot-gonners, she says. Now, they're starting to do some of their own clothing lines. It's a nice little sideline, she says, for she loves clothes and fashion (so does Sharon). She doesn't want to dress age-inappropriately, for she'll face the wrath of her daughter if she does ("she'll take the piss out of me!") Who wants to see a 48-year-old bird's tummy? [depends on who she is -- RR] Sharon doesn't want to look at hers. And on that note, the interview ends. 5. V Graham Norton (UK), December 16
Tracey appeared on the December 16 installment of V Graham Norton on Channel 4 in the UK. The show was taped in Hollywood. This first aired in the US in July 2005 on the Logo channel. This summary is based on a repeat showing on September 20, 2005 and on a clip that appeared on the official show Website in 2003. After Tracey is introduced, she comes on stage and is walked over to her seat by some very buff gentlemen. She comments to Graham that they were freshly shaved, for she felt some stubble as she had rubbed their chests. Next, Tracey talks about her performance in the upcoming John Waters film A Dirty Shame. It's all about sex addiction, she explains, prompting some hoots and hollers. It seems the audience likes it already, Graham quips. Tracey continues: she plays Sylvia Stickles, who gets hit on the head with a lawnmower handle and becomes a sex addict, getting what is called a "runaway vagina." She runs all over Baltimore, trying to get oral sex whenever and wherever possible. It's not a role you expect to see played by a mother of two who's about to face the menopause ("can you believe it?"). She says that the filming was great fun. In the John Waters tradition, it was filmed entirely in Baltimore, where he's been making his movies for 35 years. How times change -- he was a bad boy way back then, with him and Divine doing shows on people's front lawns and being chased away ("get out of here, you crazy kids!"); now, he's "Baltimorean of the Year, John Waters!" Tracey says that Johnny Knoxville from Jackass is also in the film. But she says "Jackass" in a mixed American-British way, pronouncing the "ass" as "arse" or "oss". She realizes what she's done ("I'm so mixed up, it's killing me!"). Graham asks if she had to do things during the filming that shocked her. Indeed she did, she responds; she's never done anything more shocking, and she's done a lot of strange things. She pauses, wondering if she should elaborate. One reason she seems reluctant to do so is that daughter Mabel is in the audience tonight, back from England for the holidays. It turns out that Mabel did see at least one night of filming. As the camera finds Mabel in the audience, it is apparent that she's grown quite a bit since most fans would have seen her last (the fourth season of TTO in 1999, filmed in 1998 when Mabel was 12). She's 17 now and seems a little embarrassed to have the focus on her. Graham finds it hard to believe that Tracey could have a daughter who's that old, but it's true. She said to Mabel once that when they put their arms around each other in public now, they could look like lesbian partners. The next segment of the show features a Candid Camera type hidden camera prank. A nearby fast food restaurant drive-thru has been wired up with a camera and microphone such that when the customers are placing their orders, they are actually speaking to whomever's in the studio. In setting up the prank, Graham praises the quality of American fast food as superior to British fast food. Tracey agrees, but that's not saying much, for she's down on the concept of fast food in general -- she's more organic [and might we see her at Whole Foods Market or Trader Joe's? -- RR]. The first driver comes up; he happens to be a heavy-set man, and as Graham pretends to take his order, he orders items that would tend to keep him a heavy-set man. Graham encourages him to order salads and other healthier items, but he's not in the mood for that as he drives off in disgust. When another driver pulls up, Graham asks Tracey to take his order. Adopting the identity of Blanca, she persuades the customer to sing or rap a jingle for the restaurant in order to receive a free meal -- and he does! Graham takes over for the third customer, and he lets him in on the gag. It turns out that all this talk of food has made him and much of the audience hungry, so he asks customer number 3 to bring back burgers for everyone. The third segment has Graham and Tracey as judges presiding over a court of the audience's opinion in "Courtroom Drama Queens." Both cases involve audience members. In the first case, one couple complains that while staying with friends, the bed they were sleeping in collapsed without warning. The friends counter that whatever the first couple was doing in bed, it wasn't sleeping. The audience voted in favor of the bed-owning friends. The second involved two women, one of whom complained about the other's dog getting loose, running after her and hindering her, sniffing her shoes, etc. The dog owner, who admitted to not picking up after her dog, got no sympathy from Tracey or the audience. As the segment (and the show) ended, the burgers arrived. Prepared by Roger Reini |
